3 Sunday's Left....

3 Sundays left, about 2-1/2 weeks of being called a 'minister' and getting a paycheck for my troubles...

I have been so busy with EMT stuff, preparing sermons, 'deliberately' stepping back with Young Adult Ministry activities, clinicals, etc. that I haven't had time to think about it much, which is perhaps good. One of my worst traits has always been thinking things over too much, instead of just 'doing' and going with my gut. Getting the basement finished a few weeks ago in the new house was a victory of sorts, as was getting 'moved in' to our new place.

Took my Firefighter Recruit test on Monday, along with a hospital clinical - wondering how much these things really matter in the whole process of convincing a local dept. to hire a 35 year old fart like myself. Think I did ok.

I was originally planning to post reflections on this blog in regards to my thoughts of stepping down from a ministry post, after nearly a decade of being in the vocation. I quickly scrapped that idea, it seemed too narcissistic and smug. There are many reasons, some good, some a tad on the negative side, etc. No reason to open the closet here. Folks that have been curious have asked me, and I have told them.

I can say this; for me being in education, ministry, teaching, preaching, etc., being a 'knowledge-worker', had become soul-crushing. I need to do a little work with my hands, I need to be moving more, I need to see something truly tangible at the end of the day to feel good about what I am doing. That's just me, and I understand everyone is different. And I'm certainly not 'super-mechanically-inclined', either. I just need to be moving, working, and not just in my mind in front of mountains of books and a computer screen.

Yet after 10 years of trying really hard to be a really good minister, I found that I was denying who I really was, and the time had finally come when I didn't even know who "I" really was, except of course "Christ in Me," a la Galatians 2.20. Other than that, I didn't even know what or who I was really like, I had suppressed it for so long.

I hate how cliche that sounds, but I am glad I finally began to see that I was not, never was, cut out to do this sort of thing as a career, mostly for reasons listed above.

Enough already! Too much "Ego Tripping" musing about my current state, which is soon to be jobless.

Pray for my upcoming tests at the end of my EMT course, and that I can get on as a volunteer at a local Fire Dept. as I continue the process....up next, after EMT-Basic Certification, comes ECG and IV certification 'short' courses, then hopefully some ambulance experience, then hopefully paramedic school next summer.....Pray that I can 'miraculously' get hired and a Fire Dept. would put me through Paramedic school, along with Fire Academy....an old dude can always dream, eh?

Peace
Mark